Often I think back on people I left in America…. and I remember all the good times, especially with the ones whose names ended up on the divorce list to testify against me…. I seem to always learn the same lesson…. that made time two. People now-a-days have no loyalty. No loyalty what so ever period. “people are like slinkies.. they’re not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.” I have no idea who wrote that but it is the damn truth.
Now that I am in another country.. I see people the same here… I am not going to learn that lesson again. the only people you can trust in your life is yourself and your damn dog…
This is the truth, the Abusive Narcissistic Alcoholic I married is still trying to control me. His lawyer wrote some letter claiming I was over here selling off marital assets, yet, I’m not the one that just bought a new car or sold a horse for 9 grand… then they don’t want to take my deposition over skype. because they said I am on an extended European vacation.. And I have a Visa that says “studio” which means study. But, that’s ok, because if I don’t go to school my visa becomes invalid, I signed an agreement to go to school for a specific number of hours per week… And I’m allowed a pausa every 4 months.. and I travel one hour a day to school and one hour back, but, it’s cool. I’m on vacation.
I tried to explain that I don’t want to take time off of school to my lawyer, and he apparently conveyed that to the other lawyer, and all they could come up with is that they are filing a motion to compel me to come back or else we won’t go to mediation… mediation that they keep putting off… Whatever.. Again People suck and divorce is a game of the lawyers..
I miss the days of not having phones and not having access to the internet and hoping that your dial up connection worked… but, penso ho finito with my lamentations..
Things I have stopped doing…
Keeping up with people… fuck them, if they want to talk to me, they can text me.
Reading facebook. I still post shit to instagram, and it automatically posts to facebook, but I don’t give a rats ass about anything that the snowflakes are bitching about so I don’t get on facebook.
Wearing lots of makeup. the girls here in italy are pretty natural and not fake. I only put mascara on now… no more of the other shit… and the occasional lipstick if i’m feeling up to it.
Giving a shit about what I say. I am an asshole. I am sick of listening to stupid shit and pretending to give a fuck if I offend someone.
Making small talk. it is an absolute waste of time, I do not participate in it anymore.
Giving a damn. I am having a hard time finding the proverbial fucks to give. I think I ran out of them before I left America.
Giving people second chances. Fuck me once, shame on you.. fuck me twice.. you won’t have the opportunity.
Being on a diet. i lived my whole damn life on some kind of diet… don’t eat the pasta, don’t eat the bread, don’t eat the fucking carbohydrates or eat fatty foods… watch the oil and watch this and watch that… i’m done, I eat gelato every day and i eat as much mortadella as i damn well please. this has opened a whole new door of happiness i never knew existed.
Things I have started Doing….
Keeping people at arms distance. no explanation needed
Taking the time to talk to people over the age of 60. why? because they have good conversations and I love hearing the stories about the good old times.
Taking the time to enjoy my walks. I was rushing every day here and there, so I started taking the earlier train and now i can walk con calma da scuola and not be in a rush.
Taking time to take the sun. you have no idea how lovely it is to sit in the sun and feel the rays soak into your skin.
Riding my bike to shop for everything. screw driving a car and parking and sitting in traffic. I take my bike to the grocery store and to meet people and make aperitivo. great parking, no traffic… i like it.
Listening to music again. I have been listening to music like i used to, long ago before the dark time in my life. When I listen to music now, I feel it again, and it makes me feel alive…
online gaming. If i need to waste my time online, might as well do something worth doing… I have a kingdom and I go to war with creatures and bandits and I joined an alliance and we have alliance wars… good times… and makes me feel like a kid again..
Forgetting words in English. some days.. I just can’t think of the right words.. and some days the modo di dire in italiano functions better than saying something in english.
I guess that is about it for now..
